“From Outside, In” is a honest discourse about language’s relationship with identity. Mellix tells the story of her evolution from child to full-fledged academic through literal excerpts of her past writing. During her youth, she became privy to a distinct dichotomy of language in her culture, which she defined as “black English” and “standard English”. She recalls an experience visiting relatives where she observed her parents operate under the unspoken prerequisite of using “standard English”. She describes her parents as “looking small and anxious during those occasions.” Because, as she would go on to reveal later, “The language was not ours, it was something from outside us, something we used for special occasions.” Mellix’ concern about this idea is reiterated during her recollection of her first college class. She wished only to belong, and to understand, but was left with similar feelings as her younger self. She said, “My concern was to sound as if I belonged in a college classroom. But I felt separate from the language – as if it did not and count not belong to me.”
This piece is also a statement on the relationship between language and power. It was disheartening to learn her language caused her feelings on inferiority. She understood her father’s success was somewhat contingent upon his ability to use “standard English”. Furthermore, she understood that if she was to make in an academia, she was going to have to overhaul her understanding of language, and somewhat, part of her identity. The reshaping of her identity caused her feelings of imbalance. In her last paragraph, she says, “To recover balance I had to take on the language of the academy. The language of “others”. And to do that, I had to learn to imagine myself a part of the culture of that language.”
I found this publication to be very worthwhile, it’s a fantastic insight for those who didn’t experience this problem growing up. Personally, I make small shifts in the content of my speech depending on the individual, and these become more obvious in group settings. However, the idea of reorienting my language to the degree she spoke of is foreign to me. This article raised several questions, and ideas for further thought…. How does language infer identity? Can you infer identity from language? Do I lose myself if I assimilate to “their” language? Or is thinking of it as “their” language a deeper issue? How can we measure quality of language when it’s not objective?
E367: Writing and Diversity 
John,
I’m intrigued by how you describe Mellix’s piece as an “honest” account of a struggle that feels “foreign” to you. (I agree with both terms.) Because, in some ways, the problem she describes is that “standard” English feels “foreign” to her, even when she can write masterfully in it. So the problem is not simply one of mastery, but of ownership, identity.
And I love the set of questions you end your response with. I hope to hear you begin to formulate some responses to them over the course of the next few weeks as we continue to read pieces exploring these issues!
Joe
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John,
I love your response and the questions you raised.
I do believe that while we want it to or not, language and power do in fact have a strong connection that determines how people view us in terms of our intellect, personality, and state of being. Sadly, there are some languages and dialects that are deemed superior to others, leading to great shifts in power and great divides even among people from the same country.
You asked the question “Do I lose myself if I assimilate to ‘their’ language”? and I find this very interesting. I’m sure that the answer to this question depends on the person in question since it is ultimately up to them whether they want to see it as losing a part of themselves or just adapting to a new environment for protection or to make things easier for themselves and the people around them.
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John,
I felt connected to your third paragraph in this response and your reaction to the piece. I have the same shift in my speech that depends on the person I am talking to and I believe that everyone does. I felt that the strongest part of the response was when you talked about Mellix’s need to “overhaul her understanding of language, and somewhat, part of her identity” when it came to college. I feel that ending the response with questions definitely makes the reader think about their thoughts on the topic.
Michael
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Hi John!
I really liked your second paragraph and your statement on Mellix having to reshape part of her identity in order to become successful in her writing, as well as the impact it had on her. I found this piece of her writing to be extremely powerful in that Mellix was forced to give up part of her past identity in order to gain an entirely new one, but in turn it caused her to be at a standstill with writing. While losing piece of herself and gaining a new one, her writing became difficult to put a voice to, likely from the fact that Mellix was trying to find that in herself as well. All writer’s struggle with having their individual voice be heard in their writing, however Mellix’s struggle also involved her changing herself alongside her writing. I could not begin to imagine how difficult it must be to feel the need to constantly be editing yourself, along with your work, in order to fit a certain standard. This statement of hers stood out to me throughout her piece and exemplified the level of intelligence and capability that Mellix entails.
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John,
You make a great point when suggesting the difficulty of measuring the quality of language without objectivity. That closing statement alone does an awesome job capturing the pressuring dichotomy that developed within Mellix over time. Being made to feel inferior based on rules designed by social constructions and biases leaves very little room for sense and understanding.
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