In Rodriguez’s “The Achievement of Desire: Personal Reflections on Learning ‘Basics,’” Rodriguez highlights the struggle of balancing an academic career with his home life. When he throws himself into his studies at an early age, he quickly notices the implications that it has on his home life. This struggle is especially reflected in his relationship with his parents. He mentions that whenever his parents would ask him about what he learned at school, he would keep his answers short and vague, not wanting to share too much. He would read often, which caused him to engage less with his family, staying in his room, so he wouldn’t be distracted by the sounds of his home. He mentions that he felt his parents “were always behind” him. His parents gave him and his siblings the means to succeed academically, however, it also caused them to distance themselves from each other. Rodriguez’s interest in academics didn’t only affect him, but it also his parents as well.
There’s no denying the sense of pride that Rodriguez’s parents feel towards his academic success’s, however, Rodriquez mentions that they began to become dismissive of his intelligence. Whenever there was an argument in the house, his parents would defend their statements by simply saying “It’s what we were taught in our time to believe,” which immediately ended the discussion. Even though Rodriguez has had more academic success than his parents, they are still his parents and still have authority over him, which makes it easy for them to discount his statements.
Rodriguez has conflicting emotions when it comes to his academics. He feels a draw towards learning that seems to overpower the guilt that he also feels. This guilt coming from the separation he notices between himself and his home life. He feels like he is responsible for this change that has occurred in his home.
“I kept so much, so often to myself. Sad. Guilty for the excitement of coming upon new ideas, new possibilities. Eager. Fascinated. I hoarded the pleasures of learning. Alone for hours. Enthralled. Afraid. Quiet (the house noisy), I rarely looked away from my books – or back on my memories.”
Rodriguez, 243
Even though his schooling caused him to distance himself from his home life, he also became appreciative of it later on. His studies gave him the knowledge to look back on his childhood and try and recover what he lost.
“I needed to understand how far I had moved from my past – to determine how fast I would be able to recover something of it once again.”
Rodriguez, 254
I feel like many of us can relate to the fear of coming home with a report card to show to our parents, scared that they aren’t going to be pleased with the results. Maybe the few times they weren’t, it caused tension in the house, with maybe a grounding or two to follow. Rodriguez has a whole different take on it, which I never really considered before. He was scared to succeed rather as well as fail. Rodriguez was a good student (although he highlights he was really only good at mimicking, instead of forming his own ideas), and he felt like he had to hide this from his parents. If he shared his successes with his parents, he felt like they wouldn’t understand, but when he keeps his thoughts to himself, he’s separating himself from his parents.
Trying to relate to Rodriguez, I can think of one example. I remember when I entered high school, the only thing that I knew about politics was what I heard about from my parents. However, the more educated I became, I began to form my own opinions, which opposed the views of my parents. I remember expressing some of my views and immediately being shut down. It felt similar to when Rodriguez would try to have a discussion with his parents, who wouldn’t really listen to his side of things. I learned to stop bringing up my own thoughts whenever the conversation turned to politics. I learned to keep quiet because I knew I would upset my parents if I said anything contradictory. Although this is only a small piece of my home life that has been affected, it seems like Rodriguez is expressing a shift in his own home life which has a much greater magnitude. “In place of the sounds of intimacy which once flowed easily between us, there was the silence.”
E367: Writing and Diversity 
Bridget,
I like that you brought up Rodriguez’s discernment that he was a good student because he was good at mimicking his teachers. In “The Achievement of Desire,” Rodriguez says, “I copied their most casual opinions; I memorized all that they taught.” I found this part of the piece interesting because it is clear throughout his writing that he is smart and capable of having his own original thoughts and drawing his own conclusions. I think this shows the readers an internal snapshot that he doesn’t even realize he is presenting. Rodriguez is scared to give himself credit. He is hard on himself by not crediting himself when it comes to time spent with family, and then discredits his time spent in school. Both his family and his schooling are important to him. I’d have liked to see him be less self-incriminating because he seems to create the problems he thinks he has (not to discredit how he perceived his problems).
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Bridget,
I was intrigued about your point regarding Rodriguez and his relationship with his parents. Rodriguez felt like there was a disconnect between him and his parents throughout his life. I wonder if this is because by him isolating himself and not caring about building a relationship with them or if he just cared about developing himself as an academic. Maybe he truly was focused on himself and didn’t care about others? Or maybe he didn’t have much in common with them since he always felt that they were so called “behind him”. This is an interesting topic because it brings out fear in his life. I know that every kid at some point in time has had a fear of getting bad grades and dealing with the wrath of your parents when you get home. This might be what is going on in Rodriguez’s life.
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Bridget,
I’m glad that you mentioned the statements made by Rodriguez’s parents when they would defend themselves. Too often do I hear “It’s how I was brought up” and “The times were different back then” in an attempt to excuse poor behavior. While it is important to acknowledge the changing of societal views and principles over time, we cannot excuse an unwillingness to change due to the past.
In today’s society we often see these arguments used in order to excuse racist, sexist, and homophobic behavior, in addition to other forms of prejudice. While I think the past can explain these prejudices, I do not think they can or should excuse these prejudices. Although it is tempting to continue to live as one always has, this way of thinking is closed off and ineffective in a society that is changing constantly. In order to expand upon the greatest amount of good in society, individuals must be willing to accept change.
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Hey Bridget!
I really liked your final paragraph in which you compare Rodriguez’s experiences to one that many of us can relate to. When reading his writing I definitely found that it was hard to make a connection to due to the fact that we are in a society in which parents push for their children to be more successful and educated than them. I personally made relations to other points in history in which parents main goal for their children was for them to work after receiving a basic education, but found that Rodriguez’s parents wanted a mix of both. I find it interesting that they wanted this better outcome for their children, but to a different extent than one that I had ever seen.
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Bridget,
A thoughtful response. Thank you. What sticks with me most is when you note how Rodriguez in effect reverses the familiar story about coming home with a bad report card. Because his problem is that his report cards are too good—he ends up judging his parents, rather than vice versa.
My sense from reading the comments so far is that people find Rodriguez unsympathetic for this reason, but I’m not so sure. While my own situation was never as fraught or dramatic as his, I have to say that the process of becoming a writer and professor was something that I felt separated me from my parents (a truck driver and secretary) and my neighborhood—even if we never really argued. So the line you quote at the end of your piece, in which “silence” replaces the “sounds of intimacy”, really resonates for me.
Joe
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Bridget,
I really enjoyed your post. I like how you related your own experience to the piece at the end. I have also felt that divide between my parents for becoming educated in politics. It just so happened, as you said in your piece, that your views happened to differ from theirs as you became more knowledge. I also really liked the quote you left at the end –“In place of the sounds of intimacy which once flowed easily between us, there was the silence.” This quote sums up what this piece was trying to get across, and speaks to the depth of Rodriquez’s feeling.
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