“What Fullness Is” is an extremely powerful piece in which Roxanne Gay vulnerably takes us through her journey of gastric bypass surgery and exposes her inner struggles. Gays effectively connects to her audience, America as a whole, with her use of pathos throughout the entire piece. Everyone can relate to worrying about what the opinions of others, which is a big theme in Gay’s piece.
“And the moment I step outside the safety of my home, I hate how visible I am, how people treat me, how they stare and comment both loudly and under their breath, how rude children remind me I’m fat and their rude parents say nothing, how I have to think and overthink where I go and how I will fit into any given space. I do not know how to carry myself with confidence when I go out into the world. Any sense of self I have is often shattered within minutes, and then I am all insecurities and fears, wishing myself into a more socially acceptable form.”
Here, we can see the extent to which the opinion of others controls Gay’s life. She lives day to day distracted and unable to focus on anything besides her image in the eyes of others. Without the negative cultural attitudes toward fatness, it is safe to say that Gay would be comfortable with her body:
“I am, however, sometimes fine with my body. I am fine with my curves, the solidity of me. I am strong and tall. I enjoy the way I take up space, that I have presence”.
These particular few sentences are so emotionally powerful because this is the one time that we hear Gay accepting herself. It exposes the extent of how powerful the opinions of others are. What is even more eye opening is that Gay is being told by society that she is supposed to be wanting to work on her body. Society tells her that it is a crazy notion that she should ever feel satisfied with her fatness. Gay is pushed to conform after the humiliating incident in the grocery store parking lot. The opinion of others wins in the competition with self-acceptance.
Once she undergoes surgery, Gay’ sense of self is destroyed and the psychological effects are shocking. Gay has always been told that surgery is the solution to all of her problems and that she should be fully happy after it.
“And I had to do so while recognizing that losing weight wasn’t actually going to make me happier — which may have been the bitterest part of all.”
Realizing this is not true is part of the depressing side effects of the surgery, and is something Gay has to cope with forever. After the surgery, Gay says she feels as if nothing has changed. She cannot seem to comprehend the enormous life changing event she has just endured. The mind are body are strongly connected, which is a big reason why she develops body dysmorphia.
Although many people will never know what it is like to have gastric bypass surgery, Gay does a wonderful job in putting the audience in her own shoes. This piece effectively makes the reader uncomfortable in order to imagine how agonizing this journey must have been.
E367: Writing and Diversity 